rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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