i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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