Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
