why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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