i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
