The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
