so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
