Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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