She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
