You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
