For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
