So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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