Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
