before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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