So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
