I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
