you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This baby is an asshole
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
