Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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