Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
