i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
