Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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