Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
