Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can I color on your dick again?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
