I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
