the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
