the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
where does the pee come out of this thing
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
