I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dear god my vagina.
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