I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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