His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
