Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
