i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
