I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
