i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
