i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
