it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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