I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
