he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
