I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
