My room smells like vodka and shame
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
