I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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