I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize