Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
