I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's like heaven, but drunker
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
