rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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