it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I smell stomach acid.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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