Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
