i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
