R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
