You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
