Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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