I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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