On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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