maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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