This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize