So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
