I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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