Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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