Where did you get a picture of my penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
