You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Randomize
