Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
