do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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