I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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