You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
