So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
