hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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